Monday, December 21, 2009

Reunion Party Is Set for Jan 27 @ Ruby Hill Winery Production Room

We are going to hold it at the same place as last year, Ruby Hill Winery Production room. Entrance on Vineyard Ave just north of Isabel. It is in the "barn" which is down a dirt road off of Vineyard. Entrance is Just South of Ruby Hill Blvd and North of Isabel. The production room is about 1/4 mile down the dirt road. Look for some lights in the distance.

Cost is $40 either at the door or pay via paypal ( This fee will pay for dinner and beer.

Dee will be debuting the '09 DVD highlight video and it is sure to be a hit. The voice of the Sharks, Randy Hahn will keep the festivities lively, that is for sure.

Keg will be tapped at 6:30 dinner served around 7pm. DRESS WARMLY!!! IT IS COLD IN THE PRODUCTION ROOM!!!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Holy Sh.T ! Did This Really Happen???

Subject: Holy Sh.t did that really happen? Top 10 reasons why we all feel sick, can't talk, and will sign up all over again in '10

1) Yes, big Azevedo VEDO set 4 Hacker Pschorr records for
a) Most masses chugged in one day w/o puking-3
b) Most masses chugged in 2 days- 6
c) fastest mass chugged and turning the mass upside down like we did in the old days - 6 secs
d) causing most victims to puke after challenging him- 2 VIDO (Mikey) and the German dude who puked at the table

2) Mikey Azevedo Vido overcame his 50-1 odds to win ROY '09. Is there really any doubt if he will come back in '10 and hand the hat over to ROY '10?
a) First member of our group to ever chug a beer
b) first member of our group to pass out 3 nights in a row
c) first member of our group to be the first guy in the lobby EVERY DAY

3) ROY '07 Das Enema didn't argue that he should be the current ROY again!

4) We had a gay dance off 2 nights in a row w/ shirts being taken off and dancing together Maverick, Hasselhoff, Das Enema, Blah, Blackout, Bad Monkey and others i'm sure

5) ROY '08- Blackout took a train back and forth to get back to the hotel so he didn't have to defecate in the tent

6) Joe Sanchez - Sanchez came on Thursday night despite the fact that he had to deal with big personnel issues throughout Europe and then move his family from UK to Austin, TX on Sunday.

7) Blah got kicked out of the tent and was back in the tent in less than one minute

8) Doid bought about 10 small bottles of Jaegermeister to bring back to his buddies and drank all of them within an hour

9) Jester slept in a train station, Stan B slept on a park bench, Vedo slept in the stoop outside of the ladies bathroom, and at the table, and on the hill of shame!

10) The boys were ROCK STARS again in '09

Thanks to all for making it another great year. Look forward to the reunion party, the party at Rusty's bar, the Par 4 Kids sake golf tourney and whatever else we can find excuses for to laugh again.

Herr Hasselhoff

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Fesh is Stalking the Voice of the Sharks...

To my question about whether a restraining order is effective in Germany, Scoop-our Rookie legal counsel for the trip chimes in with the following:

Finally a question that relates to me!

For those unaware, Leppie and Hasselhoff have drafted me to be an Ofest Rookie. Due to past events, they believed it was best for all involved if an attorney was a team member. Hence, I was included in this year’s event

I want to assure all team members that I will do my best at all times to handle any legal matters that may come up during our 3 days of drunken debauchery. Fees for any such services are included in your event package. As the old adage goes, “You get what you pay for!”

In response to Herr Hasselhoff’s inquiry, yes, restraining orders work in Germany . They have several uses, similar to those in the States. First, they are made of paper and can be used to help clean up any rookie (or veteran) “mistakes”. If a rookie were to piss on himself, the restraining order could help clean up the mess. If one were to be caught without toilet paper at an urgent time, the restraining could come in handy. It could be used to fan and help revive an unconscious teammate. One could imagine waiving it in the face of the local constabulary claiming it provides diplomatic immunity to the entire team in a time of distress. It could be used to threaten any squatters attempting to steal seats reserved for team members in the tent. Basically, the uses of the restraining order are only limited by our imaginations.

As for the restraining order’s intended purpose, unfortunately it does not work in Germany , or the States for that matter. As mentioned hereinabove ( that’s legal stuff), the here before mentioned (more legal stuff) restraining order is made of paper. At the risk of being in poor taste ( not a genuine concern from what I have heard) Nicole Brown Simpson had a restraining order and she is dead.

I look forward to meeting you all and sharing even more of my vast legal knowledge.


I dare ya to try to take the ROY Hat off my head

The odds might be altered by ROY 08’s inability to surrender the coveted hat. Place your bets accordingly.

ROY 08 will not give up the hat easily…. During our recent training trip and in between drinks, he was spotted on a shooting range in Cincinnati.
And I quote Dan Sandlin (Blackout, ROY 08), “Hey ROY ’09! If you want the hat, Come and get it!” (see attached pic)
Team Chicago trains hard. And yes, that is Lederhosen, this year’s jersey, and a .50 cal.

Rock on,

Jon Sanchez
Bad Monkey
~Can’t wait to see everyone again.

Place your bets for ROY '09

Vegas and Atlantic City have finished their review of the Rookie class of 2009, and quite frankly, it is the strongest looking class as any can remember. Prior to looking at this year’s class, it might be best to highlight some of the previous year’s rookie maneuvers that put their predecessors at the forefront of our entertainment, and at the forefront of taking home the coveted Green Hat.

Sleeping on the Hill of shame, spending the night in the police station and being bailed out by your future father-in-law, or taking a 6 hour shower and then shaving your head all gave some of our rookies honorable mention. Stepping up their game in the quest for the Hat were those that partied into the wee hours of the morning, collected all the fire extinguishers from the Hotel Maria to dispense in Vonderach’s room, and rounded out the evening by launching a maas from the third floor of the Hotel squarely hitting the windshield of the car across the street….all accomplished within the first 12 house of being in Munich. Not to be out done, there was the Dance. The Dance single handedly propelled this rookie of the year to international fame and stardom, and I am told that “Dancing with starts” contacted this ROY to see if he would participate, but he declined because there was no drinking allowed. There were rookies that puked, rookies that pissed themselves, rookies that tried to eat the dreaded fish sandwich, rookies that shit themselves and then the entire hotel, rookies that kissed other rookies, rookies that slept naked in the wrong bed…in the wrong room….in the wrong hotel, rookies that overdosed on the peppermint snuff, rookies that overdosed on the women, rookies that danced with the band, rookies that danced with the police, rookies that were carried out by the band, and rookies that were carried out by the police. One thing is clear, All rookies have no idea what they are getting themselves into, and One of you will rise above all the rest, and cement your place in the ROY Hall of fame. All will be called rookies but only one will be called Rookie of the Year. May the best rookie win. With that said, here are the final odds.


50-1 Vedo. His dad is sponsoring him this year, and even though his dad thinks he knows his son well, there are those deep, dark secrets that we all try to keep from our parents. Fearing to unleash the party monster he is, Mikey will struggle with his inner self , and his urge to streak through the tent, as to not diminish the already suspect attitude that his father has for him….Thanks for coming.

45-1 Goose and Jester. Really…..Goose and Jester! That was 19fricken 80. Your odds should be 100-1 if not for the fact that more than half of the German population is still living in the 1980’s and those nicknames may just carry enough weight for some free beer, a fish sandwich, and the invitation to the Gay beer tent…..make sure your bring tight bathing suits and sunglasses so that you can play volleyball in front of the tents. I guess that makes McKibbin Maverick or Iceman or Slider……..

40-1 Roscoe. One of the two Heller sponsored rookies in the class of 09. His odds have significantly been affected by the amount of advertising that will take place on his shirts and lederhosen…Barron’s jewelers……buy one get 5 Free. Half off of Half off. Roscoe has no idea what is going to happen to him when he enters the men’s bathroom with diamonds and gold hanging all over him. It could be the first missing persons case in our 15 plus years of O’fest when the ugly crowd of men pissing decide to relieve him of all the adornment that Heller made him wear.

39 -1 Mikey D. There is a Mikey D every year. Here is how it goes. “Um…Mikey…you need to have a nickname for the back of your shirt for the tents. What would you like to put on it?” I will go with Mikey D. “Um….Mikey, your last name is Donofrio…so that is really just your first name with your last initial?” Yea, isn’t it really cool…kinda of reaches out and grabs ya doesn’t it. (Odds makers have just moved him to 50-1 with Vedo….no nickname, no chance.

39-1 Mark Kerns. ½ step better than Mikey D. Mark, as of the printing of the shirts still could not decide on a nickname. Don’t look for Mark at the Pizza Joint, breakfast, or any other spur of the moment outing…as important decisions take him slightly longer to process. Although he did have 6 months to decide on a nickname.

20-1 The Don and Fresh. Part of the strong McKibbin recruiting class, The Don and Fresh are looking to take their own style to Germany and see how it plays. Polyester lederhosen, black eye make up and black nail polish are just the intro for these new wave Euro trotters. Spiked hair, tight jeans, and lipstick with have these guys fitting in with the after hours crowd better that if they were from Düsseldorf themselves. The word on the street is that Fresh and Don are inseparable, and are coveting the first co-ROY award. Good luck boys and remember…”Stay thirsty my friends”.


10-1 Jake and Elwood. Bloom is reaching deep on this to pull out all the stops. Born and Bred Maxim Blue, These boys will be looking to get the band back together. Only this time, it will be in Munich. If after the weekend ends, neither Jake or Elwood was on stage with the band…they will be exposed for the imposters that they really are. (Hint: make sure you have plenty of beads and a bottle of something to share with the band during their breaks. You will warm their hearts and souls, and it will put you into position to do backward handsprings down the aisles of hacker!)

8-1 Rip and Stam-Iam. These guys would definitely fall into the same odds range as Mikey D and Mark Kerns if not for the sponsorship of the original ROY. Struggling with the “nickname” concept will only be overlooked by the fact that you have to hang with Walt and gas problems the entire weekend. If you think his farts smell bad here in the states, what until you get a load of them after he has abused his body for 4 straight days, feeding in nothing but sausage, beer, and the occasional pretzel. Good luck, and do not get in a cab or elevator with him or you will regret it.

5-1 Scoop and Doid. The question here is that do either of these guys put away beer like they put away wine. Coming from the Callahan wing of the group, both will have to show that they can “swing from both sides of the plate” and put down their wine glasses, and man up with the Maas. Wine drinkers have come before and unfortunately not done so well, but the word on the street is that these guys are players. The question is can they drink a maas as fast as the guy at the auction. We will soon find out.

The Favorite

2-1 Blah. Blah has it all. Money, Balls as big as church bells, and an unbridled spirit that embraces opportunity, bends it over, and drives it home. Going solo, purchasing the trip at the PAR auction for kids, and telling everyone that he saw the golden ring and grabbed it, Blah will not disappoint. He has heard the stories, he saw the drunken debauchery, he drank the maas, and in the end, after he saw the young girls in their dirndls, said, Why the F$*# not. When asked why he felt compelled to go to this annual pilgrimage, he merely responded, “Because I can”. Blah is the leader in the clubhouse, and it will take a herculean effort to unseat him for the assured bestowage of the green Hat. Does anyone have what it takes?

Good luck to all the rookies and their sponsors this year. The field is stacked, and the odds will start to change as soon as we all depart for the airport. Rise above, reach down deep inside, and remember, that if you are lucky enough to earn the Green Hat, it is your god given duty to return next year to the fatherland and present the next years recipient. Nothing is out of line, out of bounds, and the voting committee is always watching. Don’t let your guard down for a moment, because we will be watching…..


Wednesday, August 26, 2009


The following is what you should expect. It is adapted previous year’s cheat sheet, but still is 99% accurate and will give you a general expectation about what to do and when to do it.

Make your way to

Hotel Tryp Paul-Heyse-Strasse 24 Munich GERMANY 80336
Tel: (49) 89 514900 - Fax: (49) 89 51490701 - E-mail:

Team Chicago and Colvin, Kearns, & Bochenek go to

Hotel Ibis. Dachauer Strasse 21 - 80335 - MUENCHEN - GERMANY
Tel : (+49)89/551930 Fax : (+49)89/55193102

and get checked in. If you take the S Bahn from the airport, you take the S1 or S8 train from the airport towards downtown Munich and get off at Hauptbahnhof Central Station. Transfer to the U4 or U5 one station and get off at Theresenwiese station. Walk about 200 yards to hotel. It will take about 45 mins or so for the entire journey. It sounds a bit complicated, but it is actually very easy. Print the map of the train system that is located on our website or see below map. It is all simple to read and well laid out. The cost of the Ubahn is about 10 Euros/person. A taxi will cost about 50 Euros (if I remember correctly).

9/24 Thursday Arrival day Game day shirt: Black Polo

Arrive early and you will be the first to taste the 2009 Oktoberfest beer. This beer is brewed specifically for Oktoberfest and is arguably the best beer in the world. Once you have checked in, I would suggest making your way over to the Wies'n (vee-sen). That is the piece of land on which the Oktoberfest is sitting. Veterans call it the Wies'n, so start calling it that. Examples, "Are you going to the Wies'n tonight?" "Is Ken still passed out at the Wies'n?" "Did Walt get thrown out of the Wies'n again?" You get the picture. I will get there at around noon on Thursday and will be at the Hacker Festzelt tent. In the map below, that is tent number 4. Ask for directions at the front desk how to get there, but I assure you there will be a steady flow of people heading there. Just follow the crowd. If you are following a bunch of totally hammered people, you are going the wrong way. These are the people who are leaving the Wiesn. Turn around! The hotel is only about 10 minute walk to the Wiesn.

There is a main road where all of the tents are located. Hacker is tent 4 below. It is between the HB (Hofbrau) and Shottenhamel tent and across from Augustiner Brau. The picture of the front of our tent is at the top of this cheat sheet. This is where we will hoist a few masses of beer for the next 3 days. Go in the front doors, turn left and head towards the back of the tent down the left hand side.
When you are about halfway (just before the band), look for people in our black travel shirts . We’ll be near the walkway so we should be easy to spot.
We'll stay there pretty much all afternoon and evening and then head for pizza afterward

Friday 9/25 Game Day Shirt Purple mesh shirt Meet in the Tryp hotel lobby at 8 and we will walk over together. They start serving beer at 10. We do not have reservations for Friday. It is imperitive that you are in the lobby so that we can all sit together on Friday. It is a nightmare saving seats, so meet in the lobby by 8:00 and we will head over to Hacker. We will spend virtually the whole day in Hacker that day. Get to the tents as early as possible, because many of the Germans in Munich will take a half-day off of work Friday and fill the tents. The doors close around 3 or 4pm sometimes, and it is hard to get in. If the doors ARE closed, text me +1 925 518 7437 or Joe Sanchez +44 777 273 185 and we will try to get you in. All of the entrances are numbered and we will tell you what door to go to. Phones are impossible to hear inside the tent so texting is the only real option for communicating.

Saturday 9/26 Game day Shirt Obama T Shirt morning - Get up at your leisure. Today would be a good day to walk around the Wies'n and see what else there is going on. If you can't bear to smell the beer, jump on the train and go to the town center (MARIENPLATZ). Munich is a nice city. Explore. We will probably arrange a Mike’s Bike Tour like we did a couple years ago. It was really flat and simple tour of Munich. Like a walking tour, but on a bike. You will definitely like this trip. If you want to get really adventurous, Dachau (concentration camp) is pretty close. The hotel will have information about Dachau. Ask at the front desk. Whatever you do on Saturday, BE BACK AT THE HOTEL BY 3:30PM! We will be meeting in the lobby/restaurant of Hotel Tryp at 3:30pm. We will have our annual award ceremony at this time and it is normally something you do not want to miss. We will be departing for the tents at 5:30pm. We will have our official Ofest Rookie of the Year at this time. We have reservations at tent 4 (Hacker Festzelt) above. We all need to stay together and enter the tent around 5:45. The reservations start at 6:00pm. If you do not come with the group, they WILL NOT LET YOU IN!!! They will clear some tables for us at that time. It's magical. We will drink all night Saturday. If you are not there with our group, you likely will not get in the tent on Saturday. It is packed and impossible to get in w/o reservations on Saturday. This will be a great night, so be sure to meet in the hotel lobby to get your pass. .

Sunday 9/28 Return home. I suggest you take a vacation day on Monday.

Miscellaneous things:

Clothes: This is very informal. Wear comfortable shorts or pants. Have both available. Normally the weather is nice, so shorts are appropriate. If it is raining and cold, then you could still wear shorts, but you’ll get wet on the walk to the tent. Might want to buy a disposable pancho from Wal Mart for the trip so that you won’t get wet walking to the tent. It is dry inside of course. It will not be cold in the tent. If it is 75 outside, it will feel like 175 inside. Lots of smoke, sweaty people, and spilled beer. Your shoes will get beer spilled all over them. Don’t wear nice shoes. You likely will not need a nice set of clothes, although some adventurous people have gone out to clubs after the O’fest closes at 11pm. Take a look at the various pix that we have sent and you can see how casual the dress is. Here is a listing of the shirts that we will all wear: Thursday: Polo Shirt Friday: White Baseball Jersey Sat: Yellow T-Shirt
You should have your shirts, beads, and shaving kit by now.

Weather: Normally it is 75 or so. However, it could be 50 and raining. Bring a light jacket just in case it is raining and you have to be outside for the 200 meter walk from/to the hotel. Bring a jacket that you don’t care if it gets lost or VERY dirty.

Money; Normally I would expect > $350 US to be enough to pay for beer and food and trains, but you should probably count on $400-$500 because you are going to be in a good mood and want to buy your new German friends a few beers. A taxi to the airport is about $70. If you are going to take taxis and buy lots of beers for your new best friends, then you need to bring lots more money. Beers are about $10 each (per liter). USD will not do you any good there. They do have ATM’s that you can get Euros from or you can get them at the airport or at your bank before departure. They have ATM’s at the airports, throughout the city and at the Wies’n itself.

Beer & Food We will pay for our own beers at the tent. We will take a small collection at the beginning of the day to ensure we have good service from our waiters and also to grease the doormen. Beers are served in liters only and normally cost about 8 Euros (+/- $10 US) Food is <15 href="">

Our website is the best resource for the trip. It has lots of info. Play around with it and you will see lots of useful info


Friday, August 14, 2009

Hotel Rooms for Tryp

Your payment includes a hotel room from 9/24,25,26. If you are arriving earlier or staying later, you will need to make separate arrangements. I MAY be able to help you. Alternatively, you can check with the hotel directly.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

WE HAVE A WINNER!!! It's Par4kidssake

The Ofest 2009 group (via your fee) donated one trip to Ofest 2009 that was auctioned off at the Par4theKids golf tournament on June 8. The lucky winner who will be joining us is Eric Everson!!! Eric, it was the best $2850 you will have ever spent! We had a great day of sun and fun. The Ofest 2009 hole was the place that everyone looked forward to reaching. All the golfers thought someone got a hole in one because of all the noise that was being made on our hole. Nope, no holes in one, but the Mass chugging (very similar to the long drive contest) contest (thanks for the idea Der Stinker) was the highlight of the tourney. Each group put in $20 and we timed them to see how fast they could drink a mass. The winner chugged a mass in 7.2 seconds!!! He didn't pass on the mass to his team mates. Not only that, it was his second one on the day. Originally he chugged in 9. 8 secs and he was the leader. Another chugger came by and beat his time. So, at the end of the day Robert Perez came to confirm his victory and he was crushed to know he no longer had the "longest drive." So, he got a mulligan by contributing another $20 and he chugged another one is 7.2 seconds!!! Robert SWEARS he is coming to OFEST with us!

You will be able to congratulate Eric Everson on his winning bid in Munich. His nickname is Blah... look for him as he is highly touted as a rookie of the year challenger.

Thanks to Randy Hahn, Ken Vonderach, Ken Bloom, Jon Borneman, Rusty Clever, Mario Jacques, Dennis Colvin, Greg Desin and the 2 lovely girls who will also meet us in Munich this year, Ricarda from Cologne and Theresa from Italy for making our booth at the golf tournament the one that backed up the entire tournament.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Starting to Get the Fever for 2009

Nevermind the H1N1 Swine flu, Who's got the OFEST FEVER??? Like these people that i saw at Bay to Breakers 2009, the fever is starting to catch on. The phone calls are starting to go around the executive committee. Hahn is finalizing schwag designs. Vondy is starting to set the morning line for the ROY '09. Who's it going to be??? The BEADS ARE IN for 2009. Looks like another great year will be in store.

Last week we had an executive committee meeting. The committee will be representing the entire crew at the Par4Kids fundraiser on June 1 at Ruby Hill Country Club. Thanks to your generosity, we are donating a trip to Ofest 2009 to be auctioned off. Rusty from Ofest 2007 is donating a keg of Hacker Beer that will be sampled on one of the holes with a few committee members (Hahn, Vondy, Roy '06) raising the interest in the auction. We hope to raise $k's for autism research at the benefit.

Keep an eye on the website going forward to stay in touch with the goings on...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Field is Limited To 32 People This Year-WE ARE SOLD OUT!

The Hotel Trypp can only handle 32 of us this year, so we are limiting the number of attendees. As of middle of Feb. we are completely sold out!!! Team Chicago (are we really surprised?) is back for another round at the Wiesn. Blackout and his crew have a year of experience under their belts now... Look out! Joe Sanchez will be attending for a record setting 16th time! Joe recruited a bunch of fellas from Maxim this year so the Maximites will be representing also! And this year Der Stinker has recruited a couple of future AA candidates. Welcome aboard Rip and Stam-Iam. We also have a few guys who are back after taking some time off... Mckibbin, Hahn, and Vondii are all back and rarin' to go. This year's class has 11 Rookies all vying for the coveted green hat. ROY '07 is still scheming to find a way to get the hat back, but it ain't gonna happen. Keep your eye on this space... more info coming

Did our Waiter Christian Really Fly Out From Germany For Our Reunion?

You should never be surprised by 'Da Man! He stepped up huge by flying in from Munich ONLY FOR OUR REUNION!!! Der Stinker and Herr Hasselhoff managed to show him a good time in SF for a couple days along with our wives. We didn't make it out of the Buena Vista Restaurant on the first day to SF, but managed to have some fun in the evening. Dinner at Asia SF (don't ask...) and a late night at Club Infusion topped off a festive day. Da Man dropped off the oldtimers back at the hotel and went out for round 2 late into the night. The next day was Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf, Lombard St. and other tourist things.

Huge props to Da Man Christian Bullert for making the reunion very memorable.

Thanks to Leppie for letting us use his winery to host the party and to Der Stinker, Mabster, and Dee for helping with the setup. Vondii brought the A/V system that we watched Dee's great video with. If anyone wants a copy of the DVD that Dee made, let me know. I have more copies.

Official 2009 Logo Has Been Released

Not sure if it is my favorite logo of all time, but nobody asked me to vote...